Pray.

What is one to do when their passion is violently thrown from a place of comfort and security into the unknown?

Pray.

I seem to use this answer a lot lately. Advice I use to cringe at is now the response I give to friends, my own inner voice, and in some cases complete strangers.

Part of me can’t help but wonder if I have by accident, despite all my non-conformist efforts and rebellious nature, arrived at the ‘Christian Cliché’. But then I remember that me and my puny little mind cannot possibly understand the direction of my life from an exterior viewpoint. Whether it be ‘cliché’ or not, I can no longer afford to view my life through such an old lens. One that does not take into account the complete mystery and sovereignty of the very real and living God. 

Pray.

See, there are so many voices I’ve listened to. Had ears for. I may not even be aware of how I take in the ideas and opinions of the world, but there they are. Filters. Filters. Filters. Even the most beautiful words can be tainted through an ugly heart and once you have become accustomed to the opinions and viewpoints of this world what began as mere ‘awareness’ can turn to ‘dependence’.

We HAVE to know what people think. About… everything. Not only do we have the technology to prove it but also the tendencies. Have you noticed how we avoid stillness? We have even renamed it, deeming all moments void of conversation as “awkward silence”. I would have never realized this unfortunate personal quality until I befriended someone whom I was actually comfortable with in complete silence. Of course with most friends there are those valleys between conversation where we breathe, stretch, maybe get a glass of water or use the restroom but for the most part we are filling our time with talk and then its time to tweet about it or leave. I’ll never forget how unusual it felt when I was finally comfortable just sharing some space with someone.

Two people in the same room who have complete peace.

For me, this is what prayer does. I seek God with something(s) on my heart and the most amazing thing happens. I hope more than anything you know what I’m saying (without saying it) not only because I am oh so terrible at explaining such important things but because it is this intimacy with Him that there are no words for.

Pray.

I get on HIS page instead of trying to pull and push and drag Him onto mine. (I never quite accomplish that btw). The truth of his sovereignty is so liberating. God’s will wins battles over my own, every time.

I’ve learned that submission and obedience are better than any battle I could ever win on my own (even the most seemingly righteous ones). I’m done fighting the blessings He has for me and the only wars I have the desire to take on are the ones He calls me into. I’m not so sure what they may be, but right now I am thankful for the stillness and peace in my heart from spending some time in a silent room with the lover of my soul, my savior, my best friend.  

I pray you practice seeking Him. I pray you come to ENJOY it thoroughly